Sejak pertama kali mendengar lagu “Confidence in me” di Sound of Music, aku langsung suka. Dulu tentunya hanya 1-2 kalimat saja yg tertangkap, tapi itupun bagiku sudah begitu inspiring: “I have confidence that spring will come again, I have confidence in me! I’ll do better than my best..” hmm, saat itu aku sungguh terkesan dgn semangat dan optimisme Maria.

Beberapa waktu yg lalu, sekitar semester 2 -graduate study, di tengah berbagai kekhawatiran dan rasa tidak percaya diri (yang jarang kualami; ok, aku sering tidak percaya diri utk berbagai hal, tapi akademik belum pernah termasuk di dalamnya) yang mulai mengganggu, iseng2 aku search lyric lengkap Confidence in Me, dan..wah! jadi makin terkesan. Liriknya bagus sekali, dan sungguh cocok utk situasiku. Sambil membaca baris2nya, aku mengingat Maria yang berjalan cepat (kadang berlari, melompat) sambil mengayun2kan kopernya sepanjang jalan dari biara ke rumah Von Trapp…sekaligus teringat malam pertamaku di Singapore, betapa aku tersenyum dan berpikir, I’ll start a new life, my own life! This time, it will be for me, not for anyone else! Ini lirik lengkapnya:

CONFIDENCE IN ME-SOUND OF MUSIC

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder .
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free.
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what’s the matter with me?

I’ve always longed for adventure
To do the things I’ve never dared
And here I’m facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

A captain with seven children
What’s so fearsome about that?
(Two professors and years of research;

What’s so fearsome about that?🙂 )


Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I’m worthy
And while I show them
I’ll show me
So, let them bring on all their problems
I’ll do better than my best
I have confidence they’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me
Strength doesn’t lie in numbers
Strength doesn’t lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up — Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

Mungkin tidak tepat juga kalau dibilang sepenuhnya confidence in me. Bagiku, syair lagu itu menjadi tepat, bukan karena aku demikian yakin akan kemampuanku, tetapi karena aku tidaklah sendirian. I have confidence in me, or better still, I have confidence that I walk with God. Everything will turn out fine, I believe.