kuatir ttg subset simulation nya. kuatir setelah sekian lama pusing2, ternyata ada kesalahan konyol di code nya. kuatir prof will say that most dreadful sentence. kuatir ttg seseorang yg terkasih. I believe in him, and I’ll wait for him; however, I do not want him to fail (I do not want any bad things happen to him). kuatir kl merasa tidak puas lagi.

sedikit  (ok, banyak, sebenarnya) iri pada teman2 yg pergi lbh jauh, melihat lbh banyak hal, tidak usah langsung jump to research pada tahun2 pertama (jadi ngapain dong? only taking coursework, take a summer trip?!! and also full scholarship is provided! duh..), pada mereka yang cukup humble utk ke US dg biaya orang tuanya, sekolah ga lama2, pulang bawa titel mentereng krn cap US, dapet kerja which she described as ‘wonderful job’, pada seorang researcher cewe dibawah Schueller (sepintar apa sih ya yg begitu itu? so that many awards go to her?)

I’ve said so much of nonsense. I’ve been so ungrateful. And arrogant, as usual. And so scared of the possibility of failure (eh, should say probability of failure, so that it becomes more compatible to my research), of being humiliated.