daily life 3 June 10

It has been a while since I wrote something. I am currently in a situation which requires patience and humility, two virtues which are not my natural traits. I don’t want to write about it, as it makes me bitter, so just some random points:

1. I’m 25! I have had a good education,a  loving family, exciting experiences, a good boyfriend, and I like my job. Indeed I am blessed.

2. I realize more and more my chief criterion in assessing someone (particularly a man): his achievement in life. It may be good (in the sense that I am not going to marry someone just because his family is rich or just because  he is irresistably handsome) yet it may be bad (in the sense that it is so difficult for me to accept him just the way he is).  I guess this criterion may have something to do with the fact that my loved ones (parents, sister) generally do quite well in their study and jobs, so I may unconsciously think that those who do not succeed simply do not try hard enough.

3. Talking about accepting someone just the way he is, sometimes I think the phrase ‘just the way I am’ has often been misused as a lame excuse by people who cannot accept criticism and cannot bring themselves to be a better person. I do believe that everyone should practise that famous serenity prayer: to serenely accept the things we cannot change, to courageously CHANGE the things we can change, and to wisely distinguish the two.

4. I don’t like people who like to show off their so-called achievements. Why should you tell all your friends that you are going for a honeymoon overseas? It is not by your hardwork that you can enjoy an expensive holiday, it may not even be your husband’s hardwork (if he ever work at all!), so why so proud, eh? And why should you tell all your friends that you get a prestigious scholarship? Of course, it is your achievement, but why can’t you just keep quiet? And why do you have to posted all your holiday pictures?

but maybe I am the most snobbish of all snobs: I am proud that I do not show off, though I can if I want to.

5. Related to point #2, last Sunday I watched a Korean drama. There was a young couple, the wife is estranged from her rich family because she decided to marry her husband. She seems very supportive to her husband, even sending him off to work everyday with very encouraging words. Despite all her supports, her husband does not perform well at work. In fact, he is the salesperson with the lowest monthly sales 😦 At one occasion, the wife breaks down and said “I don’t want my pride to be trampled on again!”

somehow I feel so sad and scared watching those scenes. And I can’t help thinking, that’s true, what can a woman do? what can a wife do? no matter how bright, how succesful you are, people will more often than not measure you based on your husband’s (not yours) achievements. and if even after all your supports, he still does not perform well, what can you do? you cannot do his job for him. and the worse part is that your pride will be trampled on, and (usually) the husband does not think the wife’s pride is something important.


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