How to let your friends know you are successful

  1. Post those photos taken overseas.  Holiday pictures are fine (your friends will know that you earn enough to afford it), but you score higher if you pose in professional attire (your friends will know that you are important enough that people are willing to fly you over to work with you). For PhD students, conference pictures will do.  Your friends will ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ to know that you are smart enough people are wiling to fly you over to listen to your research findings.
  2. Are you actually living in a foreign country?  That’s even better.  Post some photos every now and then.  Not the tourist spots, of course.  Show the everyday places.  Let your friends know you are truly living as an expat now.  If you, like me, are from a tropical country, then photos with snow is a must.  Oh, a screenshot of the weather forecast or temperature statistics will do nicely, too.  My observations suggest that the temperature has to be minus to be post-worthy.
  3. Don’t forget to allude to your humble beginning.  Your friends would be more amazed at your achievements if they know that you started from nothing than if they suspect daddy’s money give you some helps here and there.  Facebook status along the line of “who would have thought that a boy from an obscure village in Indonesia would someday teach bule master students” will do very well.
  4. Got kids? That’s a real advantage.  Related to number 3, you can proudly compare your kids situation (which is significantly superior, thanks to their successful parents) to your situation at their age.  Compare your age when you board your first flight vs their age, scan and post the first page of their passport, … (why should you listen to those friends who maintains that it is unwise to show any ID documents online? They are clearly just jealous since they are less successful than you).
  5. Post some quotes, wise maxims, verses, every now and then.  You want your friends to know that since you got your basic needs satisfied, you have time and capacity for higher things.  Oh, and a language other than English will be an added score.  Greek goes well with the New Testament, Latin goes well with ancient prayers.  I’m just saying.
  6. Do some humblebragging every now and then.  You don’t want your friends to die of envy, do you? You can show them that even the successful persons like you have their own share of troubles.  Post some pseudo-miserable status updates.  You know, like “hmmmh, boss asks me to go to (*insert a cool place here*) to discuss the new project … how can I leave my precious baby? This is the second time in a month!”  Or perhaps, “grrr, my husband spent all his Saturday morning on his new car”?  This last one will do very well if you live in a place like Singapore.  If you are in the States, perhaps you should clarify that it is an expensive car. You have to be thorough, you know. I am tempted to classify those like “Thank God for His blessings, I’m promoted” as a humblebrag.  But let us give these religious persons the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps gratefulness are really overflowing in their hearts that they could not help but sharing it in their Facebook page.

And if you are wondering why someone spent his / her time listing this, wonder no further.  The writer must be less successful than you, hence he / she is just jealous.  The less successful ones are always jealous, remember?


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